It was a sweltering hot night in Matamoros, Mexico. I was in the middle of a three-week stint leading worship for a missions organization based in Georgia. Their base in Matamoros housed a large number of summer staff, translators, and visiting mission teams. It was about halfway through the summer when some new staffers arrived after dinner. Some of the veteran staff members were talking with them at the door of the dining hall when I walked up.
One of my staff friends introduced me to the new group. “…and this is Heath. He’s our worship leader and speaker for a few more days. His jokes are the funniest. Go ahead and tell one.”
“Umm…” I balked. First of all, it’s just not fair to introduce someone like that. I know, because I’ve introduced some of my friends as “pathological liars.” Doesn’t matter what they say after that. Second, a joke works best when you don’t expect it to be the funniest thing you’ve ever heard in your life. Even the funniest of funny jokes falls flat after an intro like that. And mine did.
“So this polar bear walks into a bar,” I started. “The bartender says ‘what’ll you have?’ The bear says ‘a scotch………………….on the rocks.’ ‘Fine,’ said the bartender, ‘but why the large pause?’ To which the bear replied ‘I dunno, I was born with them.’”
*Crickets chirping*
It was a slow, painful death. And not the best first impression I’ve given in life.
As a side note, I haven’t introduced any of my friends as pathological liars since then. But I have learned that our expectations play a huge role in first impressions. And first impressions are sometimes hard to overcome. My friend Crowson asked me if I’d seen the movie “Tommy Boy” everyday during the first semester of our senior year of high school. Every day I said no, he’d tell me about another scene in the movie. When I finally got around to watching it, I didn’t laugh much. It took years before I appreciated the movie for the comedic master piece it is.
I’m not advocating that we set our expectations so low that even the smallest happening seems like the lunar landing either. If that were the case I’d turn cartwheels every time my drive-thru order came out correctly and included an ample supply of napkins.
I think it’s best to be realistic. Having realistic expectations of myself and others keeps me centered personally and emotionally. I don’t expect to be congratulated if I do something I’m supposed to do. I’m also not down on myself because I’ve had P90X way more than 90 days and the only thing ‘ripped’ is the box it came in. If I’m stretched to my limit and accomplish something beyond my usual ability, that’s reason to celebrate. If I half-way do something and turn in less than my best effort, that’s reason to be disappointed. Knowing yourself, your abilities, and your limits is important. Giving my best effort in a task, conversation, or relationship is what I expect from myself. It’s also what I expect from others. And that’s good enough for me – and Big Tom Callahan.
Heath is a husband, dad, musician, worship leader, radio personality, and purveyor of random knowledge. Heath also types in third person on occasion.
