Another real life conversation from my family. We were eating a late dinner and talking about each of our days.
Ariel: I ate Chinese today. My fortune cookie said “You are pretty.”
Laughter.
Me: my favorite fortune cookie said “It is a nice day.” I wonder how you get the job of writing fortunes? I’d say things like “You should go home now.”
Ariel: Mine would say “Did you enjoy the cat?”
You can’t make this stuff up.
It was a sweltering hot night in Matamoros, Mexico. I was in the middle of a three-week stint leading worship for a missions organization based in Georgia. Their base in Matamoros housed a large number of summer staff, translators, and visiting mission teams. It was about halfway through the summer when some new staffers arrived after dinner. Some of the veteran staff members were talking with them at the door of the dining hall when I walked up.
One of my staff friends introduced me to the new group. “…and this is Heath. He’s our worship leader and speaker for a few more days. His jokes are the funniest. Go ahead and tell one.” Read the rest of this entry »
I remember my first lie. I was a toddler. My idea of fun at the time was running a circle through our lovely 70’s style Ranch. I made a track from the living room, to the hallway, then the kitchen, and back to the other side of the living room. I was fast too. Just fast enough to brush a lamp off an end table. I didn’t realize it fell until I made the circuit again.
Lap 20. “Hmm,” I thought. “ I don’t remember that lamp being on the floor.” Like Forrest Gump I kept running. While running I contemplated the consequences of the broken lamp on the floor. “Maybe it won’t be there this time through.”
Lap 21. “Hmm, still there. Maybe it isn’t really broken.”
Lap 22. “Definitely broken.”
Lap 23. Path blocked by mom. “Uh oh.” Read the rest of this entry »
Heath is a husband, dad, musician, worship leader, radio personality, and purveyor of random knowledge. Heath also types in third person on occasion.
